You might be a redneck if . . .

[zephyrhillsusan]

First off, for you yankees and furriners   let me explain that a redneck is usually a derogatory term, but also can be a joking reference.  Its most kind translation might be "yokel."  There's a comedian called Jeff Foxworthy who is pretty much synonymous with "You might be a redneck if . . ."  So after my definition, if you still aren't sure what one is, check out the link.  I've been thinking about redneckness lately, so here goes . . .

You might be a redneck if . . .



. . . there's a manure fork sitting in your living room.  Hey, at least it's never been used!

Sorry, absolutely no photos for this one, but you might be a redneck if . . . you've been pantsed by a bovine!  Ebby's bull calf Seb was licking my leg the other day.  He started on my calf (not sure if he intended that pun!  ), licked his way up to my knee, and started on up my thigh.  At that point I said, "Hey, buddy, that's getting a little personal!"  He stopped and started to walk away behind me when suddenly he grabbed the back hem of my shorts and yanked down.  I managed to catch them before they went completely.  I burst out laughing, which I think (unfortunately) he got a kick out of.  How do I know that?  Because he repeated it a few days later.  I may be a bit slow, but it never occurred to me that he'd do it on purpose the same way, so he got me again.  

This last one is the opposite of being a redneck because the reddest redneck would know better, so I'm not quite sure what it proves!  I tried to empty the overloaded, soaking wet manure spreader down our steep front hill in a pouring rain.  It jammed and backed up before I realized what was happening.  Let's just say that manure fork from the living room got christened, but it couldn't begin to handle the job.  I ended up putting on gloves and removing most of the manure/hay mixture by hand.  Gag!    I have a new sympathy for the guys who empty septic tanks for a living.  The bottom of the front yard ended up looking sort of like a scene from the movie "RV," if you know the one I mean.  And I have learned to look back and keep an eye on the manure spreader while it's going. 

So chime in, everyone, what makes you a redneck?  (Or a city slicker?)

[legendrockranch]

Oh my gosh Susan, where do you come up with these things.

[wagradexters]

.......if you've lived in a remote logging town of 50 people max for 30 years, not local but well acclimatised.
Louise is an annual visitor but cd never came back after the first time!! Does that mean Louise is and Carol isn't?

[midhilldexters]

Seeing the manure fork inside reminded me of this pic I took after some visitors stopped by. They never said anything, and neither did I, but after they left it hit me, I wonder what they thought.



It was just sheep wormer.

Carol K

[marion]

Hahaha. And they are probably still wondering....

[Dahdo]

This is us moving into the new home we built on the farm last year. When a tractor is your moving van, you might be a redneck. Extra redneck points for the blue tarp?

[zephyrhillsusan]

LOVELY house, Dahdo!  Did you build it yourself?  This is more what I think of as a redneck abode   but I'll grant you the tractor moving van might qualify you.  Pretty funny!

Oh my gosh Susan, where do you come up with these things.

Read more: dextercattle.proboards.com/post/new/4652#ixzz3jfDIj482

Barb, I guess you would have to say that the ideas stewing around in my brain are rather like the contents of that manure spreader--and I'll leave the descriptive words to your imagination!    If you like me, you might come up with "fertile," "smokin' hot," or something else.  If you don't like me, keep it to yourself!

wagradexters, I'm glad to know there are rednecks WAY down south! 

midhilldexters, hopefully no one stuck a finger in and tasted it to see what it was!  There are some strange things on my counter, too, including but not limited to a container to collect scraps for the chickens.  My DIL threw something from the kids' plates in the trash today and my son said, "Oh no!  That was good chicken food you just threw away!"  He's a total city slicker, but I think I'm actually teaching him to be a redneck. 

[legendrockranch]

You might be a Redneck if you grow water lilies in your stock tanks like I do.

[cheddar]

ok. Does this qualify? Being new to cows/Dexters, my friends have been questioning my sanity. Mind you I have my Dexter, soon to be Dexter's, for the primary purpose of milking. We were out to a resturant, full of people, and the questions began, regarding my sanity. (Mind you I have been a farmer for 30+ years... But a cow, they cannot understand ?!?) When my gentleman friend aaked in his charmingly sarcastic manner, "Why would you want a cow?!?!" My reply, before editing my mouth, was "so i can play with her tits!" That shut him up:-). Don't know what it did for my reputation though.

[zephyrhillsusan]

Honest and "udderly" to the point!

[cddexter]

great stuff. and Dave, fab house. The best I can manage is that someone visibly sniffed as I walked by, and asked me what my perfume was. Don't use the stuff, so was flummoxed, until her face brightened, and she said, Oh, I know what it is, you smell like hay. c.

[Dahdo]

Thanks Susan and Carol, we did a lot of work, but contracted out the big stuff. We lived in a little 650 square ft cottage on the property during construction, so it was a short commute every morning. This also made the tractor a very practical moving van.

[zephyrhillsusan]

Dahdo, we used a horse trailer as a moving van once and pulled it from NW GA to southern MO to bring back a load of furniture during a snowstorm.  That was a pretty redneck moving van, too, I guess.   Especially when we got on a never-ending back road in the Ozarks and almost ran out of gas.  Luckily we found a gas station just in time, or we'd have been stopped dead in the middle of a snow-covered two-lane road!

legendrockranch, the more I look at the photo of your lily pond, the more I think I'd like something like that in my back yard.   Do they need shade, or would full sun be okay?  And how big of a tank would you need?  Could you get away with a smaller diameter, as long as it was the right depth?  I know some water plants need more or less depth; do you just raise the pots on concrete blocks?  And do you have to have a fountain-type thing to aerate it, or is it okay without?

[legendrockranch]

Full sun is best for water lilies. I have included a link to a trough pond very similar to mine.

www.penick.net/digging/?p=3376

I do have a pump with filter, plus I have fish in it, they are called shibumkins, also known as a poor mans Koi. Koi will eat some water plants while Shibumkins do not. Also Koi are easy targets for varmints. Mine tank are over 700 gallons each.

I do have a normal pond, but this is what happens when you love water lilies and the sound of water running.

Barb

[zephyrhillsusan]

Thanks, legendrockranch, I've bookmarked it. This looks so cool!